A blog about cutting edge technology at its maximum pace.

Ritesh Warke On Monday, January 17, 2011
To know the answer
please read some of the
conversations which was
made over the phone.
Please take note that these
conversations are true incidents. =================================================================
===================================== Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open

Desktop. ” Customer : “Ok. ” Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?” Customer : “No.” Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?” Customer : “No.” Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have
done up until this point ?” Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’ ===================================================================
=================================== Customer : “I received the software update you sent,
but I am still getting the same
error message.” Tech Support : “Did you install the update ?” Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it
to work ?” ====================================================================
================================== Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft
Word. ” Tech Support : “Tell me what you ’ve done. ” Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.” Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me
what it says. ” Customer : “It says ‘[ PC manufacturer] Restore and
Recovery disk ’.” Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk. ” Customer : “What ?” Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word ?” Customer: “No…” ===================================================================
=================================== Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your
software ?” ===================================================================
=================================== Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the
screen, canyou see the ‘OK’ button displayed ?” Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from
there ?” ===================================================================
=================================== Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have ?” Customer : “A white one. ” ====================================================================
================================== Tech Support : “What operating system are you
running?” Customer : “Pentium. ” ====================================================================
================================== Customer : “My computer ’s telling me I performed an
illegal abortion. ” =====================================================================
================================= Customer : “I have Microsoft Exploder. ” ====================================================================
================================== Customer : “How do I print my voicemail ?” ====================================================================
================================== Customer : “You ’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need
to print document, but the
computer won ’t boot properly. ” Tech Support : “What does it say ?” Customer : “Something about an error and non-system
disk. ” Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy
inside?” Customer : “No, but there ’s a sticker saying there ’s an Intel inside.” ======================================================================
================================ Tech Support: “Just call us back if there ’s a problem. We ’re open 24 hours.” Customer: “Is that Eastern time ?” ====================================================================
================================== Tech Support : “What does the screen say now ?” Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready ’.” Tech Support : “Well ?” Customer : “How do I know when it ’s ready ?” ====================================================================
================================== A plain computer illiterate
guy rings tech support to
report that his computer is
faulty. Tech: What ’s the problem? User: There is smoke coming
out of the power supply. Tech: You ’ll need a new power supply. User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files. Tech: Sir, the power supply is
faulty. You ’ll need to replace it. User: No way! Someone told
me that I just needed to
change the startup and it will
fix the problem! All I need is
for you to tell me the
command. 10 minutes later, the User is
still adamant that he is right.
The, tech is frustrated and fed
up. Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don ’t normally tell our customers
this, but there is an
undocumented DOS command
that will fix the problem. User: I knew it! Tech : Just add the line LOAD
NOSMOKE.COM at the end of
the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know
how it goes. 10 minutes later. User : It didn ’t work. The power supply is still smoking. Tech : Well, what version of
DOS are you using? User : MS-DOS 6.22. Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS
didn’t come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask
them for a patch that will
give you the file. Let me
know how it goes. 1 hour later. User : I need a new power
supply. Tech support : How did you
come to that conclusion? User : Well, I rang Microsoft
and told him about what you
said, and he started asking
questions about the make of
power supply. Tech: Then what did he say? User: He told me that my
power supply isn ’t compatible with NOSMOKE


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